very very very new to coding, am figuring it out along the way. Will be used as an glorified diary eventually once I get the hang of this whole html thing. god i wish i could insert images. (edit, several hours later: i did it! I can insert images now!)
Been doing nothing for a couple consecutive days in a row but read webcomics. I guess I justify it to myself by saying I'm a comic artist so it's technically work study, but I think I know it's just procrastination. I don't know. This house makes me feel afraid. It's like even when I'm under a blanket in my own bed, I can't breathe and my heart's beating way too fast for me to lay down comfortably. When everyone's outside the house I feel like coming to life, but right now, everyone's home cause of the quarantine. Well, I guess it's not like I did much of anything else in the dorms, but I like to think I made more progress there? Maybe I'm just beautifying my past memories cause being here's so shitty. I don't know. I don't know. It is kind of true though. Sure I skipped classes and barely did homework and shit but like... I don't know. I just know I want to go back. I've been very very very slowly making progress with my life and productivity, I guess. I feel like being alive when I'm productive. It's like- that one quote I like from Eizouken. It's not money that's my motivator, but productive activity that does, and money is the way to justify its usefulness. I want to make money so I get out of my parents' place, which means I then get to be more productive and do even more fun things with my friends, which involves me making money to support these activities. I don't know! Either way I need to get my shit together. I have a goal set and I need to get closer and closer to it. I don't know if my mom remembers what I told her about that other account. But I think it's good I have it. Although now I need to re-plan my finances AGAIN because I keep leaving out this and that factor here and there. :facepalm: God damn it, I just want to be productive!